Victim Blaming

Victim blaming happens when a victim of a crime or wrongful act is faulted for the harm they experienced, as in victims of domestic violence or sex crimes (blaming rape victims). Psychologist, civil rights activist, and author William Ryan coined the term in his 1971 1971 book. Ryan described it as an ideology to justify racism and social injustice against Black people, the term has broadened use since then. In a relationship with a narcissist, victim blaming is a manipulative power play used to deflect responsibility and avoid accountability for abusive behavior—making the victim feel responsible for the abuse they’ve experienced. Narcissists do this through

• Deflection, when the narcissist shifts focus and blames the victim for provoking the abusive behavior
• Projection, when the narcissist accuses partners of the very behaviors they themselves engage in gaslighting (causing the victim to doubt their own perceptions, memories, and sanity) and playing the victim (narcissist portrays themselves as the wronged party, twisting the situation to elicit sympathy and make the victim feel guilty). The impact on the victim ranges from self-doubt and guilt to feeling isolated and emotionally exhausted. Also see DARVO