Self-Object Function

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Self-object functions, in Heinz Kohut’s self-psychology, are the specific actions or roles that self-objects perform to fulfill an individual’s (the self’s) needs. The self might observe the self-object’s habits, choice of partner, or education/work life to fulfill a self-object-function the self needs — these observations are reinforcing their selfhood. In addition:

• Self-sustaining functions are when the maturing self can perform their own psychological functions without needing a self-object. The self internalizes the self-object function until they can maintain their own self-esteem, regulate their own emotions (calming themselves down after a failure or  disappointment), and feel cohesive and secure without constant external support or validation. 
• Development arrests happen when foundational self-object functions are missed during a child’s developmental milestones. The adult self can fail at internalizing these functions, which leaves them more fragile and dependent on external sources and less able to self-regulate, self-soothe, or maintain a stable self-esteem.
• Healthy adult self-object functions can also be provided by friends, partners, therapists (through transference), and political/cultural self-objects (writers, artists, political leaders of groups the self feels they belong to).
• Blindzone: Self-object functions (like providing consistent validation or security for the self) are automatic and unconscious. But when this blindzone is disrupted—through a breakup, loss, betrayal, or even just a temporary separation — self experiences emotional distress, disorganization, or a self-object injury (blow to self-esteem). This pain makes the previously invisible function instantly apparent, like not thinking about breathing clean air until it’s gone.
• Locked in place: When a new relationship can fill the void and provide the needed function, the relief is powerful and immediate. The self consciously recognizes this and locks this new relationship in place — making its role as a self-object clear and significant to both people involved. The new self-object also benefits from being needed and appreciated in this new, powerful way.