Self-Object
« Back to Glossary IndexSelf-object or selfobject, also called transitional object: Self-objects — an essential concept in Heinz Kohut’s self-psychology theory — are other people or experiences that are necessary to fulfill our needs. As the self, we need self-objects for cohesion, safety, and “harmony of self-esteem and sense of self.” This is particularly true in early development: the self-object is mostly the parent who—just by being close or by performing a self-object function — helps the infant-as-self form their selfhood, since the infant-as-self can’t yet perform on their own. Also see Transmuting Internalization for when the toddler no longer perceives the self-object as non-autonomous but as a separate being. Some adults, however, are unable to ever perform fully on their own. Examples of healthy/unhealthy self-objects:
- People. Healthy: Parents, close relatives/friends, therapist/doctor, mentors/role models, admired celebrities. Unhealthy: Narcissists, authoritarians, bullies.
- Objects. Healthy: Security blanket, companion animals, books, art, music. Unhealthy: Illicit drugs.
- Ideas. Healthy: Internalizing helping others as a core value, faith in higher power, political/cultural ideas, personal mission or philosophy. Unhealthy: Racism, misogyny, any type of hate.
Activities.Healthy: Learning, contributing to a work-team, sports, travel, family holidays. Unhealthy: Risky behavior, self-masking, unhealthy habits
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