Blame-Shifting

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Blame-shifting is a manipulative tactic, common to those with borderline (BPD) and narcissistic (NPD) personality disorders, where they avoid responsibility for their actions or mistakes by attributing them to others, external factors, or circumstances. It’s a destructive behavior that not only escapes accountability and integrity, but also destroys trust, causes emotional/verbal abuse (hurts relationships, makes the “victim” feel guilty, ashamed, or invalidated), and avoids personal growth (by refusing to learn from their mistakes and grow). Perpetrators are often emotionally immature, lack emotional intelligence, and exhibit escapist behavior. Whatever happens, they’re the victim, and it’s someone else’s fault. Acute levels of blame-shifting can lead to emotional abuse, domestic abuse, and mental harassment. Also see Attribute of Blame and Moral Disengagement. Underlying psychological factors:

• Fragile self-esteem, not thinking of themselves as good enough for their partners or workplace—making them feel inadequate, incapable, or irresponsible. Rather than change, they blame-shift to protect themselves from the threat of failure/criticism or feel better about themselves.
• Abusers’ childhoods is where this behavior originates. Growing up in an unhealthy environment of ceaseless arguments can lead to an unintentional coping mechanism of deferring blame.